Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
