Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
COCAINE IS GR8
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
