so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize