No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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