In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
this boner is exhausting
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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