I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i barfeds in our rink
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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