i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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