the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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