Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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