Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
