Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize