I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
