there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Everyone says I win the strip club
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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