I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
