Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
