we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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