he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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