Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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