wat bout pragnant strippers??
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
