is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
