I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize