At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
