When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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