Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
