Tell her she can't have a vagina
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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