we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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