we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
