If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
