butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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