its not stalking. its research.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
