every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
