Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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