absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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