and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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