Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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