why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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