How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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