God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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