We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
