ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
