some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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