If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
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