I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
