Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
