You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize