so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
