He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
