There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize