so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
