I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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