my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We were destined to go to rehab together
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
