so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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