having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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