Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
