Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
cat food counts as protein by the way
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
