we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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