don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
