I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
