margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I need a beard to bite.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
