I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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