Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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